


Knitting For Anxiety

by milesss



Series: milesss' sanders sides fic [4]
Category: Sanders Sides, Thomas Sanders
Genre: Christmas, Fluff, Gen, Knitting, YouTube, it’s 11 months early!, it’s not a month late, theres too much angst in this town, yes i know im a month late
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-30
Updated: 2018-01-30
Packaged: 2019-03-11 06:57:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13518921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/milesss/pseuds/milesss
Summary: virgil learns to knitalso, wholesome christmas shenanigans





	Knitting For Anxiety

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote 2500 words in a single day, a month late for the holiday. it's a metaphor for my work ethic.

Virgil was a few hours into a youtube autoplay rabbit hole when he found it. (He had started at makeup tutorials, then bumped into a make-your-own-makeup vid and found himself in DIY central, learned to make a cowl, and ended up amongst a few advanced knitting tutorials that were totally lost on him.) Not on the autoplay, but just two sidebar videos down. A playlist titled _Knitting For Anxiety._ He clicked on it.

He binged the entire series in one night, then went back to the beginning the next evening, a pair of size 10 needles (recommended) and soft bulky purple yarn in hand.

"This is what we call a "crapshoot" garment, because you're just starting to learn. There are two rules to a crapshoot: don't look back, and function over form. Did you purl a knit? Doesn't matter. Just keep going. Did you drop a stitch? if you can get it brought back up to the top with not much trouble, good. Otherwise, knot it off and keep going. Did you accidentally add a few stitches halfway through? Once you notice, just take them off, or leave them and let your scarf get bumpilly wider if you want. Avoid counting your stitches every row if you can; nothing about this scarf matters except that it not fall to pieces beneath your fingers.

"My first scarf, I added 5 stitches to one side, and took em off the other side about 10 rows later. The whole scarf does a zigzag there."

Virgil carefully followed along, casting on 15 stitches and trying to remember to flip the garment every time he ended a row. His first scarf was completed by the time the sun was peeking through his window.

It wasn't nearly as hideously deformed as the video-maker's first scarf (there were large holes where the stitches had gotten a bit loose, and big loops of yarn hanging off the sides), but it had several instances of him forgetting to flip, and on multiple occasions he had added a few extra stitches. He tended to catch these pretty quick, though, and had gotten the hang of casting off with minimal difficulty.

Thus began a new chapter of Virgil's life.

* * *

Virgil worked his way through the videos, first mastering scarves, then hats, socks and gloves, and eventually sweaters. He spent more time in his room, which was slowly filling with garments - some primarily for learning a new technique, but many with one of the other sides in mind.

The others had noticed the change as well; they saw less of him, but what little they did see seemed more relaxed, and so they put it from their minds.

Virgil wasn't sure why he hesitated to tell the others about his new hobby; fear of ridicule, or perhaps just a need to keep this to himself; like it would lose its magic if he shared it. But his room was getting a bit crowded. He'd have to tell them at some point, if only to clear some space.

Luckily, Christmas was approaching. Virgil carefully wrapped the sweaters, hats, scarves, socks, gloves, and etc, making large, misshapen pillows of packages for each side. He slipped them under the tree calculatedly after Patton and Roman but before Logan.

* * *

Christmas Eve, the sides were up until almost midnight watching The Hogfather (Virgil's choice).

On Christmas Day, Patton awoke at 7:30 AM, thrumming with excitement. "It's Christmas!"

He wriggled anticipatorily in his bed for the next half-hour, before hopping up to start on breakfast. An hour and a half later, he finished the last dish and bounded off to wake up Roman.

"Roman! Wake up! It's Christmas!" Patton rapped excitedly on his fellow right-brain's door, and a groaning mumbling noise came from within.

"Nooooooo.........."

"C'mon, kiddo, or brunch'll get cold!"

"Ufurffle. Fine...." came Roman's sleep-roughened reply. The room went silent.

"I'm not leaving until you prove you're upright, Roman!"

"I'm up, I'm up!" The bed creaked, then Roman's feet thumped down and he stumbled loudly to the door, opening it crankily. He glowered tiredly at Patton. "See?"

Patton smiled brightly in the face of Roman's sleepy glare and quite frankly adorable bedhead. "Sure do, kiddo! Brunch in half an hour!" Roman nodded sleepily and shut the door again.

Patton filled the breakfast bar with a delicious array of french toast, bacon, eggs, pancakes, sausage, and any "Christmas brunch" food you could think of. He set out plates and forks, and arranged the electric candelabra in the middle of the table. Then, 10 minutes to 10, he trotted up the stairs to wake up Logan and Virgil.

He started with Logan, knocking gently. "Brunch time, Logan!" When he got no response, he quietly opened the door and crept over to where the other side lay sprawled on his belly. He gently nudged Logan. "Wake up!"

Logan groaned and mumbled something unintelligible. He rubbed his face across the pillow as he turned it to face Patton, opening one eye. "I'm up." He shifted his arms, planting his palms on the mattress, before pushing himself up with a groan. He rolled onto one hip and rubbed his eyes. "Thank you, Patton."

"No problem, Logan!" With a wave, Patton bounced out of the room and across the hall to Virgil.

"Hey kiddo! You awake?" He tapped gently on the door.

A creaking noise came from within, then footsteps to the door. It opened, and Virgil peeked out. "Yeah." The door opened further, and Virgil emerged, hoodie zipped up for once. From the looks of it, he was layering for warmth. _He always gets cold this time of year._ Patton led the way down the stairs to the kitchen. They were soon joined by Logan and Roman (now fully awake and impeccable), and they dug in to the delicious spread of food, all showering Patton with compliments.

* * *

As soon as the last plate had been placed in the sink and the last leftover in the fridge, Patton eagerly herded the other three into the living room. "Presents, presents, presents!"

Roman giggled as he was pushed into the living room. "Hm, actually, I could use another pancake..."

"Oh, shut up!"

The four situated themselves on the floor by the tree, and Patton grabbed his stack of puppy-paper-wrapped presents. "I'll go first!" He passed a long tube to Roman, a small square of folded wrapping paper to Logan, and a large podgy soft package to Virgil.

Roman tore off the wrapping paper and slid the poster from its tube, unrolling it. "Oh! Thank you, Patton!" He held it up for the room to see. Maui and Moana grinned triumphantly from the surface, arms crossed in power poses. "I've been meaning to get a Moana poster." He leant over and gave Patton a side hug.

Logan unstuck the tape from the folded slip of paper and opened it. "IOU 5 books of your choosing," he read. "Thank you, Patton. This is most thoughtful." 

Virgil carefully poked his finger through the wrapping paper, tearing it off to reveal a large black cat stuffie. He stared at it for a moment, then turned to Patton with a small, genuine smile. "Thanks, Patton."

"Me next!" demanded Roman. He leant forward and grabbed his stack, passing the golden presents out.

Patton unwrapped the large round package he was handed, and an even larger teddy bear burst out of it, flopping over and covering him almost completely. He let out a surprised bark of laughter and pushed the huge stuffie off of him, seating it beside him on the floor. "Aw, gee! Thanks Roman!"

Roman preened a bit before turning to eagerly watch Logan and Virgil. Virgil stripped the paper cautiously from his present, half expecting it to jump out like Patton's had. Thankfully, it seemed Roman knew better. Inside he found a black eyeshadow palette case, and when he opened it, he found an array of dark colors, including 15 different shades of black. "Is this your way of subtly pushing me to expand my color palette?" he asked teasingly. Roman stuck out his tongue. "Thanks," Virgil added, smiling a bit softer.

Logan carefully pulled the paper off the large box he had been handed. He pulled back the flaps.

"Oh for goodness' sake Roman. This is a waste of time." Logan tipped the box forward to reveal a slightly smaller box within, this one wrapped in shining silver paper.

Virgil snorted. Patton giggled. Roman burst into uproarious laughter. "Sorry Logan, you have to go through my seven layers of unwrapping before you may reach your present."

Logan calmly stood up and left the room. Roman's giggles died off. He stared at the empty doorway Logan had disappeared through. "Uh-"

Logan reappeared in the doorway. Carrying one of Roman's swords. He calmly strode over to the box, positioned the sword above it and to the side, and drove it in, stabbing down and through. He wrenched the sword to the side and tore open the layers of boxes, pulling out one small box wrapped in blue-black paper, sparkling like the night sky.

"My seven layers of unwrapping..." Roman said mournfully.

"Logan!" exclaimed Patton. "We do not use swords in the house!"

"My apologies, Patton. It was the quickest way to get the ordeal over with." He passed the sword to Roman, then gathered the destroyed boxes and set them to the side. He calmly slipped his finger under the edge of the wrapping paper, carefully removing it to preserve the full sheet.

Within was an intricate japanese puzzle box. Logan stared at it in wonder, then turned to Roman. "Thank you. This almost would have been worth opening each box individually. And I can appreciate the thematic coherence."

"Aw, thanks Logan!" replied Roman with a rakish grin.

Logan reached for his pile. "I shall go next, if you don't object, Virgil?" Virgil shrugged. Logan passed out the bagged presents - red to Roman, blue to Patton, purple to Virgil.

Roman opened the bag, tossing the white wrapping paper to the side. He pulled out a long black box. Opening it, he found an elegant dagger, a large ruby studding the hilt. "You should have an extra weapon for if you lose your sword," explained Logan.

Roman grinned, wide and genuine. "Thank you, Logan."

Patton opened his bag next, peering past the wrapping paper. He pulled out the large purple book. "The Unofficial Harry Potter Cookbook?"

"It contains all the recipes mentioned in the Harry Potter series. I saw it and thought of you."

"Aw, gee, that's so sweet!" Patton hugged the cookbook to his chest cheerily, then set it in the teddy bear's lap and turned to watch Virgil.

Virgil pulled the black tissue paper out of the top and peered in. He pulled out the white box. "Headphones?"

"They're noise-cancelling, and high-quality. I noticed your old ones were wearing out."

Virgil smiled. "Thanks, Logan."

"Wow, I think that's the third genuine smile of the day! Is the world ending?"

"Shut up, Roman."

No one mentioned that all of Logan's presents were easily wrapable cuboids.

* * *

Virgil took a deep breath, and reached for his stack of starry purple packages. He fumbled with the large packages a bit, and Logan took one. He checked the tags, then handed the other two to Roman and Patton. "Uh. I hope you like them..." He fiddled awkwardly with his sleeves as they unwrapped the piles of knit-wear.

"Oh, wow."

"Did you knit this yourself, kiddo?"

"This is most impressive work."

"Uh, yeah, I did. Thanks." Virgil ducked his head down a bit. "I found a playlist on youtube about knitting to help anxiety and so I've been... doing that... a lot...?" Virgil's voice rose with uncertainty, though the positive responses eased his anxiety a bit.

Roman held a thick sweater of bulky wool, with a yellow crown knitted onto the chest, a la Weasley sweater. He had a white scarf and candy-cane hat and mittens (and a yellow pom-pom on the hat), as well as gryffindor socks to match.

Patton had already pulled on his blue cable-knit sweater, and was staring in adoration at the blue dog hat that had both ears and ear flaps. His mittens and scarf, adorned with pink hearts, sat on his lap with the intentionally mismatched pink and blue sock.

Logan examined his sweater with a critical eye. It was black, with blue-purple-grey argyles. The practical black ear-flapped hat was sat beside him, and he had already exchanged his old socks for the striped purple-blue new ones and was absently wriggling his toes in them. "This is of excellent craftsmanship." He pulled on the sweater and draped the scarf, patterned after his tie, around his neck. He then examined the black mittens.

"The mitten flips back and it turns into fingerless gloves," explained Virgil. "I thought you might - I mean. It's useful to be able to use your fingers in cold weather without them being... cold."

"That's very thoughtful of you, Virgil."

Virgil shrugged. "I mean, like I said... I just, y'know, I thought it'd help my anxiety. And, I dunno, I guess it did? A bit?"

"I thought you'd been more relaxed lately!" exclaimed Patton. "I'd have been concerned with how much time you were spending in your room, otherwise!"

"Why did you feel the need to hide your new skill?" asked Roman, now fully adorned in his knitted attire.

Virgil hunched his shoulders. "I dunno..." he mumbled. "I guess... I dunno. I guess I just. Didn't. Want? You guys? To. Like. Make fun of me or something. Before I had figured it out. I was _really bad_ for a while. I didn't want you guys to make any comments. People making comments is the worst." Virgil cut himself off of his ramble, awkwardly zipping and unzipping his sweatshirt.

Logan nodded. "That's perfectly fair. I likely would have commented on your progress, though in the future I will note that you do not like that."

Patton nodded. "And we wouldn't have made fun of you! Everything's a learning process, and there's no shame in being at the beginning!"

"I probably would have made fun of you. I have little tact." admitted Roman with a shrug. "It is one of my few flaws."

Virgil snorted. "Wow, Prince Perfect admitting he has something as commoner as _flaws_? Never thought I'd see the day." Roman stuck out his tongue, again.

Patton pointed at where his sweatshirt now was half-unzipped. "Is that another sweater you knitted?"

Virgil blushed. "Uh, yeah, that's my first sweater. It's kinda. Terrible. And not even ugly-christmas-sweater ugly. But it fits, at least?" He unzipped the hoodie the rest of the way and shrugged it off, revealing a messy, lumpy hodgepodge of different yarns, unevenly striped and textured. "I just kinda used a bunch of yarn ends... and stuff..."

"I would like to disagree," said Logan. "While the striping is uneven, it is not altogether unpleasing. The yarn colors compliment each other, and all are aesthetically pleasing on their own. Additionally, it is an impressively well-done sweater for your first try."

Virgil ducked his head, going a bit red and regretting the lack of a hood to hide in. "Thanks..."

"Now, what's say we go make snowmen in our new winter gear!" exclaimed Patton, tucking a mitten under the end of his sweater sleeve. The other sides nodded, standing and stretching, then trooping over to put on boots and coats.

**Author's Note:**

> constructive criticism welcome. deconstructive criticism will be constructively criticized, and is not welcome.  
> [on tumblr](http://jughead-is-canonically-aroace.tumblr.com/post/170292882376/knitting-for-anxiety)


End file.
